Jack Reacher's Rules Read online

  When confronted by two or more opponents, know that the one who does all the talking is the leader. Hit him first and hit him hard; then the others will think twice.

  Cheat. The gentlemen who behaved decently aren’t there to train anybody. They are already dead.

  “Then I cheated. Instead of counting three I headbutted him full in the face.”

  If plan A doesn’t work, move on to plan B.

  If you have to fight five guys, then identify the ringleader. Any five guys will have one ringleader, two enthusiastic followers, and two reluctant followers. Put the ringleader down, and both of the keen sidekicks, and it’s over. The reluctant pair just run for it. It never gets worse than three-on-one.

  “Attacking me was like pushing open a forbidden door. What waited on the other side was his problem.”

  Look at each opponent in turn. Serene self- confidence works wonders.

  Try not to get into a fight when you’ve just put on clean clothes.

  Stay alive, and see what the next minute brings.

  Never get distracted from the job at hand.

  Use the first precious second for the first precious blow. Fight, and win. Fight, and win.

  Don’t think ahead—if you think about the aftermath, you usually don’t get that far.

  “His eyes were closed, which made it not much of a fair fight, but those are always my favorite kind.”

  Make the first shot count.

  Look like you mean it, and people back off a lot.

  FIGHTING TIPS

  When you pull the gun, from that point on it’s all or nothing.

  The best fights are the ones you don’t have.

  Be on your feet and ready.

  Assess and evaluate.

  Show them what they’re messing with.

  Identify the ringleader.

  The ringleader is the one who always moves first.

  Act, don’t react.

  Never back off.

  Don’t break the furniture.

  “He had no prejudice against fast food. Better than slow food, for a traveling man.”

  Don’t eat before you go into an Army postmortem.

  You need protein and fats and sugars, it doesn’t matter where they come from.

  Eat when you can, because you never know when you will next get the chance.

  Be friendly with the cookhouse detail.

  “I’m a big guy … I need nutrition.”

  Eat and plan.

  Always eat a perfect breakfast: pancakes. Egg on the top, bacon on the side, plenty of syrup. And plenty of coffee.

  Before a night of action and stress, go for empty calories, fats, and complex carbohydrates: pizza and soda.

  “His threshold of culinary acceptability was very low, but right then he felt as if he might have been pushing at the bottom edge of his personal envelope.”

  After giving a wounded man a shot of morphine, remember to mark his forehead with an M, to warn the medics not to give him an overdose.

  When you’ve knocked someone unconscious, put him into the recovery position. If you want him to recover.

  “No need to put a guy in a coma over four grease marks on a shirt.”

  To set your own broken nose, smack yourself firmly in the face with the heel of your hand.

  Use duct tape to keep a broken nose in place, or to patch up a knife wound.

  “Duct tape: the finest field dressing in the world. The Marines once flew me from Lebanon to Germany with nothing but duct tape keeping my lower intestine in.”

  A well-aimed headbutt can leave your opponent unconscious but may leave you with a bruised forehead.

  After a fistfight, the best cure for a sore hand is to wrap it around a cold beer.

  >>WHAT TO DO WHEN A WOMAN FAINTS

  Catch the victim.

  Lay her down with her feet high and her head low, so gravity helps the blood go to the brain.

  Check her pulse.

  Stimulate her with loud yells or light slaps.

  Persuade her to lie still for fifteen or twenty minutes.

  Loosen any clothing, tight or otherwise, if you think she would like you to.

  >>FITNESS REGIME

  Throw back the covers.

  Stand up and stretch.

  Arch your back.

  Point your toes.

  Stretch your legs.

  That’s it.

  THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR REACHER SAY

  I need to book an appointment with my massage therapist.

  “I never get angry. I’m a very placid type of guy.”

  Know when to get mad, and know when to count to ten before you get mad.

  “I’ve counted way past ten on this one. Way past.”

  Feel the aggression building, and use it and control it; let the adrenaline pump you up.

  “They mess with me, they answer to me.”

  The most unbearable type of anger is a woman’s—do anything to avoid it.

  “If they hurt her, you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to come back down here and break your spine. I’m going to stand you up and snap it like a rotten twig.”

  “I wasn’t angry. I was barely interested. If I had been angry, we’d be cleaning up with a fire hose. As it is, we’re going to need a forklift truck.”

  THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR REACHER SAY

  Can someone help me carry my luggage?

  “Fighting Reacher was like having a running chain saw thrown at you.”

  >>IN A KNIFE FIGHT

  Don’t get cut early. Nothing weakens you faster than blood loss.

  Use your fist as well as the knife. People forget you have two hands.

  It helps to be fighting for your life. And not just for fun.

  A cut to the forehead can mean so much blood it blinds your opponent.

  When someone hurts you, step in, not away.

  Use whichever part of your body is the best weapon at the time.

  Use your left foot if you want to mitigate the damage; calibration is an art.

  “Your big soft heart, Reacher. One day it will get you killed.”

  When facing an opponent with no obvious weak point, go for the eyes.

  “A 7-pound metal club is good. But a 250-pound human club is better.”

  Use the elbow to hit the skull; the skull is harder than the hand, the elbow gets less damaged.

  When you’re fighting against brass knuckles, don’t get hit.

  Aim for the side of the skull, which is softer and displaces the brain more.

  Don’t aim for the middle of the body, which is easier to defend; aim high for the head or low for the knees.

  If you’re swinging a weapon, get near and get near early.

  If they glance up they’re going to use their fists; if they glance down they’re going to kick.

  A headbutt changes the game. No one expects a headbutt.

  It’s like bringing a sawed-off shotgun to a knife fight.

  Basic rule of thumb with six guys: you have to be quick. You can’t hit a guy less than once.

  “Hit them fast, hit them hard, and hit them a lot.”

  THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR REACHER SAY

  I give up, it’s hopeless.

  >>WAYS TO DISABLE YOUR OPPONENT

  “Use a switchblade to slice the web of the guy’s thumb. Painful, and a real disincentive against holding pistols again until they healed, which could be a long time, depending on his approach to nutrition and antisepsis.”

  The best way to break a finger: Wrench it sideways and snap the knuckle. Sideways is easier than bending it all the way back.

  Catch a guy by the throat: Do it hard enough, and fast, and numb the guy’s voice box before he can get going with any sounds. Then dig your fingers in and tap him on the top of the head, enough to send some shock down through his neck bones.

  The best way to choke someone: from behind, using the thumbs on the back of the neck, and folding up the fingers so the pressure is applied from the knuckl
es, not the fingers, otherwise you’ll get your fingers broken and your butt kicked.

  “Cutting a throat doesn’t take much time. Given a decent blade and enough weight and force, it takes as long as it takes to move your hand eight inches. That’s all.”

  The combative grip. Right at the last split second pull your hand back a fraction and close around the knuckles, not the palm. The old Army trick is that they go to shake your hand, but they’re aiming to crush it. A macho ritual. The way out of it is to be ready. Pull back a fraction and squeeze back. Squeeze their knuckles, not the meat of their palm. Their grip is neutralized. They never stand a chance.

  The campaigning politician grip. Fumble the handshake, and grip the back of the recipient’s hand, not the palm, creating a breathless “so much support here I’ve got to be quick” type of response. So it’s strictly the shaker’s choice when to let go.

  Shake or squeeze. Your choice.

  THE WIMBLEDON CUP

  WHAT

  The Marine Sniper School competition, the Marine Corps 1,000-yard invitational, is the U.S. High-Powered Long-Range Championship known as the Wimbledon Cup.

  WHEN

  Started in the 1870s, the competition’s name may originate from the fact that the British National Rifle Association met in Wimbledon, London, in the late nineteenth century. It is now held in August every year.

  WHERE

  Camp Perry, Ohio

  WHO

  The annual competition is open to shooters outside the Marines, who compete by invitation. It is a prone competition with a reputation for going to shoot-offs to decide the winner, who is regarded as the best shot in the world. Jack Reacher won the competition in 1988.

  HOW

  The Seven Characteristics of a Good Sniper: excellent marksman, good woodsman, emotionally stable, keenly observant, aware of his surroundings, good with a map, patient.

  “It takes an awareness of the environment and total concentration at the moment you fire the shot. You have to be aware of the wind, which has a tremendous impact at 1,000 yards. You have to be aware of the sun, whether it goes behind a cloud or not. Then at the last millisecond you have to develop total concentration.”

  Major Jim Land, Marine Corps (retired)

  “A modern army scores one enemy fatality per 15,000 rounds expended by its infantry. For specialist snipers the result is better. Way better. Twelve and a half thousand times better—a sniper scores one enemy fatality for every 1.2 rounds.”

  “Gas, grass, or ass—the price of hitchhiking?”

  Set up base on a significant interchange.

  Stand with one foot on the shoulder of the highway, and one in the traffic lane.

  Stick out your thumb.

  Stand in a way that suggests need but not desperation.

  Try to look friendly (especially if you are overwhelmingly large and/or have an obvious facial wound, such as a broken nose).

  Smile.

  “As a mode of transportation, hitching rides was dying out. Drivers were less generous, more afraid. Because who knew what kind of a psycho you were …”

  Be wary of: the strong smell of weed or bourbon.

  Drivers can be more compassionate at midnight than at midday.

  If you get a lift, give a destination. Saying “anywhere” sounds like you’re a drifter who wants to go home with them.

  >>WHY DRIVERS STOP TO GIVE LIFTS

  Because people used to give them lifts.

  Because they’re charitable and kind.

  Because they’re lonely.

  Because they’re so drunk they need someone else to drive the car.

  Because they think you look like their type.

  Because they’ve just committed a crime and need an alibi.

  “Hitchhiking usually carried with it the promise of random personal encounters and conversations made more intense by the certainty that their durations would necessarily be limited.”

  >>HOW TO TURN A CAR OVER

  Let the tires and suspension do the work.

  Rock the car hard. Then bounce it until it’s coming up for air at about forty-five degrees.

  Hook hands under the footboard and heave the car all the way onto its side.

  Then keep the momentum going and tip it onto its roof.

  “It’s all about free will. It’s all about making choices. You can tell me now, or you can tell me after I break your legs.”

  The hardest part of any adversarial conversation is the beginning. An early answer is a good sign. Answering becomes a habit.

  Ask once, ask twice if you must, but don’t ask three times.

  First chat about shared interests to build up trust; then it’s harder for them to start lying.

  “Be skeptical but not too skeptical. Too much skepticism leads to paranoia and paralysis.”

  If the night shift won’t help you, maybe the day shift will. (Night workers are always tougher—less contact with the public.)

  Ask a librarian—they’re nice people, they’ll tell you things if you ask them.

  “Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”

  Benjamin Franklin

  Resort to threatening physical violence only as a last resort.

  “Either you walk out of here by yourself, or you’ll be carried out in a bucket.”

  “Every city has a cusp, where the good part of town turns bad.”

  FINDING AN AUTO-PARTS STORE

  In any city the auto-parts store is always on the same strip as the tire stores and the auto dealers and the lube shops. Which in any city is always a wide new strip near a highway cloverleaf.

  FINDING THE MORGUE

  Morgues are usually close to hospitals, well hidden from the public. They are often not signposted at all, or else labeled something anodyne, such as Special Services. But they’re always accessible. Meat wagons have to be able to roll in and out unobstructed.

  FINDING THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE

  Turn off the main drag—public offices are always in the back somewhere where land is cheaper—and check the side streets. Look for a shortwave antenna on the roof and a lot big enough for a handful of cruisers.

  FINDING A WESTERN UNION OFFICE

  Stand on a street corner and ask yourself, Is it more likely to be left or right now? Then turn left or right as appropriate, and pretty soon you are in the right neighborhood, and pretty soon you’ll find it.

  If in doubt, turn left.

  “The bad stuff seems to migrate. Law enforcement never really wins. It just shoves stuff around, a block here, a block there.”

  WEST POINT

  WHAT

  Established in 1802, the United States Military Academy at West Point educates and trains about a thousand select cadets every year to become officers. After four years, most graduates leave with a commission as second lieutenant.

  WHERE

  Fifty miles north of New York City, the academy campus occupies 16,000 acres on a commanding plateau on the west bank of the Hudson River.

  WHO

  Applicants must have an above-average academic record and qualities of leadership, and be fit, strong, and agile. They are nominated by either a person connected with the service or by a member of Congress.

  THE WEST POINT MISSION

  “To educate, train, and inspire the Corps of Cadets so that each graduate is a commissioned leader of character committed to the values of Duty, Honor, Country and prepared for a career of professional excellence and service to the Nation as an officer in the United States Army.”

  Old West Point saying:

  “Everyone’s life needs an organizing principle, and relentless forward motion was Reacher’s.”

  Always move on and never look back. Never do the same thing twice.

  The best place for a nomad to sleep is a motel. It has beds and doors that lock. Pay cash and don’t give your real name.

  “Part of being a drifter means you look forward, not backward. You concentrate on what’s ahead.”

&
nbsp; Arrange the smallest details in your life so that you can move on at a split second’s notice.

  Own nothing, carry nothing.

  Two days in one place is about the limit.

  “Mostly he had rocked and swayed and dozed on buses, watching the passing scenes, observing the chaos of America, and surfing along on memories. His life was like that.”

  “I’m a nomad.”

  “Nomads have animals. They move around to find pasture. That’s the definition.”

  “Okay, I’m a nomad without the animal part.”

  Transience is a habit you can’t break.

  A wad of dollars means … a few more weeks when you don’t have to find a job.

  Don’t do permanent, be a Reacher, not a Settler.

  Take the first bus out.

  “They say you need to ride the rails for a while to understand the traveling blues. They’re wrong. To understand the traveling blues, you need to be locked down somewhere. In a cell. Or in the Army. Someplace where you’re caged. Someplace where smokestack lightning looks like a faraway beacon of impossible freedom.”

  CODES USED BY THE MILITARY POLICE

  10–2 Ambulance urgently needed

  10-3 Motor vehicle accident

  10-4 Wrecker requested

  10-7 Pick up prisoner

  10-8 Subject in custody

  10-9 Send police van

  10-10 Escort/transport

  10-13 Repeat last message

  10-14 Your location?

  10-15 Go to …

  10-16 Contact by secure landline

  10-17 Return to base

  10-18 Assignment completed/mission accomplished